Update From Elizabeth

We haven't really written much lately. I say we because, for those of you who haven't read anything before this, this is a blog that my boyfriend write on because we thought this is something we can bond over.

    This is a way for me to work through my trials and also to maybe help others that come across something similar that I express in this blog or anything I write.

  Now I am a woman with a disability but I find ways to push past that title and show everyone that I am more than that. I have my high school diploma and an associate's and bachelor's degree. This past year has been tough for everyone. My faith in God keeps me grounded now am not perfect by any means. There are a few things I want to clear up just because I do have struggles but I don't let those stop me. I am grateful for those who have shown me love and helped me when was not strong enough to help myself.

    I will say that don't let others limit you. I know as a young adult I was told things like " you won't be able to get an degree" It was not easy but I accomplished it. If you read my post on mental health that is my daily battle but I do get help for my mental health NEVER let social or family feel like seeking help is a bad thing. I said that because I come to form a Mexican Amermica family so I know what it's like. 

Mental health is something that should be talked about openly. I am well aware that in most communities there is a stigma surrounding mental health. 

As many of you know that I have battled with my mental health for a while now. Just last month I reached out to my healthcare insurance to seek more help for myself because I felt that I needed more help than just medication. 

I have been speaking with a psychologist for the past weeks. I have learned that the people in my life affect my mental health. 

What  I would like people in my life, family, and friends to understand is that what happens in my relationship with each and everyone affects me mentally. I am sure that I don't need to mention that as a human race we are social creatures. 

Those of you that don't understand I am a person that enjoys being around others and when it comes to a romantic dating relationship you would that that I would shy away from dating because of what I witness between or because of my disability, NEWS FLASH!!! we all deserve to be HAPPY.  

One thing that I have just learn with in the last two days is that if you are the only one working on your friendship or relationship you have to ask yourself if the other person wants and is showing interest in you and your life if the answer is no then its time to let go.

Professional Photos

Concern

It has been a roller coaster in my dating relationship. I try my best to be supportive and loving. I sometimes wonder what did I do wrong? I just want to see my partner happy. It is hard for me to sit back and notice the pain and not do anything about it.

  As it is some people can be harsh I would just wish that the working world would be open to giving those of us who have disabilities a chance at making a better life for ourselves. I am fully aware that everyone is different but for myself and my boyfriend we did not go to the university just for fun, For those of you who read this are probably are thinking what have they done to gain their independence we have asked for help of a job placement agency.  We are putting in applications on a daily bases.
It becomes discouraging when we have applied and we aren't getting any callbacks. 

This is becoming a real struggle for us. I think it is having a negative effect on his self-esteem because I have noticed changes in him that worry me. I have thought about us maybe starting our own business but I would hope that he would be open to that idea.

Insecurity in the workforce with disability

"And may the odds be ever in your favor.” the famous line from the movie trilogy the hunger games ones I saw it written on the back of a computer of a counselor on a community college that I used to attend back on twenty fourteen. At that time I didn't think of it, I even praised the counselor for it. now two years have passed since I finished my degree in school and with a bachelors in Communications and a minor in Art I am still lacking of a job. Now I understand that as a person with a disability I was a fool to think that the odds in in the work force were in my favor. How could I someone that been put down and struggled to get respected even by his own family think that would be respected by strangers and in an environment that even someone with no disability has trouble getting. 

After a year of looking I found another job, perhaps not the job that I imagine but its something, perhaps its almost the same job that I had just with a different company and with a different set of districts. As individual with disabilities in the work force there's always an insecurity with am I getting treated equally, am I doing the job like any other employee. Working as a substitute long weeks with middle school students elevates one's anxiety level trough the roof. When a student push back and refuses to simple direction, like read your book, that moment can really put a dent on one's self-esteem. Lucky bumping into another substitute in the launch room and exchanging work experiences helps. It help me see that I was having the same issues with students as a regular employee with out a disability.

         

Elizabeth's view

Dating someone else who is disabled is a breath of fresh air for me. I don't have to hide my struggles with them. This new guy who is dating is amazing to start off him and I do go to church together which for me is something that I can admire because not only can I developed a physical dating relationship but we can also grow together spiritually. He most of the time keeps a smile on my face. We often get stared at just because of our physical appearance. It does drive me crazy most of the time but at the end of the day, he makes me happy. I love being around him. He is a lot more reserved then I am. I firmly believe that God brought us together for a reason. when he told me about his past I cried. Every time we are together I just want to be there for him as much as he allows me to be. I do see a future with him despite what everyone thinks.

As everyone knows dating is difficult, now trying to see for a person was a disability. I can say that one of the biggest fears of mine is someone going to want to be with me because they feel bad for me. 

Dating Into Handicap

I drive anywhere feeling like a teenager that just got his first car, but of course I am 25 years old. Why did it took me so long to get a vehicle? Well as a handicap individual, you usually spend a couple of year convincing your family that is safe that you have the same risks as anyone to get in a car wreck.

 When you are a handicap person and  you own a minivan (Town & Country Chrysler 2014) you tend to feel free. I drive anywhere I want, well anywhere my budget allows me anyhow.  But on pay day I’m always going to the bar to play some pool and drink a beer with some friends. I drive to school and work I became a “awesome person, some one that amazes people/promoter” People always see me and say that what I do is awesome or ask me about the van and tell me where did I get it cause they need one for their grandpa or old father. Sometimes when I go out with my girl, which she is also handicap, we tend to get free food sometimes. Like the chef from the school gave us free sushi and a couple of rolls. As far as school I drive myself there. On the weekends I even make hobbies outside of the house. Alejandro, one of my best friends, and I have been talking to each other about doing an art show in a gallery in Brownsville. I manage to get an exhibition for our paintings in a cultural center close to my old university at Brownsville. It was fun driving over there and setting up the gallery and driving around promoting the art show. I guess now I see why my parents use to call the minivan a luxury thing that I don’t need. But now I think they see that it was a need because now they are able to accomplish more tasks without having to worry about driving me to other places.

           The only main issue here in the valley is the parking spaces. People don’t respect the some handicap spaces are mainly for vans. It is a drag to go to Wal-Mart and see that someone with a car that could have parked in a regular handicap space is parked at a space designated mostly for vans. A couple of times I am force to park at a regular handicap space and someone blocked the side where the ramp for my wheelchair comes out. It would be handy if someone design a ramp that can come out either side of the van. That would be the best solution for it. Another possible solution, is to divide the handicap permits in to different digress. For Example, where people can park on the regular handicap parking space other where only van or mini vans can park.

5/22/2015

   

       Yesterday I went out with my girlfriend, Elizabeth, to eat. I went early to her work place at the Student Union of now called UTRGV (University of Texas at Rio Grande Valley) I waited for her for a couple of hours but I didn't mind because my BFF the laptop was with me. I played Starcraft 2 the hole morning it was a blast. 

          Anyways, I do not know if I have mention Elizabeth before but she is a sweet girl although ever time I tell her that I love her, she rarely says it back. Elizabeth has a condition called Cerebral Palsy. http://cerebralpalsy.org/about-cerebral-palsy/definition/, says that it is a condition that affect the movements of the body and body coordination. This can occur while a child is being developed or with an injury. Although this sounds serious is can be treated manageable, so the person with the condition can be more independent luckily for my girlfriend this is the case she has a little machine implanted that is always giving her medicine, because of that she rarely get spasms and they cant be notice. Although the medicine helps he a lot she still has to use a wheelchair because of her feet. 
        I been bugging Elizabeth to let me teach her how to drive. I think driving will open a lot of doors for her just how it happen to me, I want her too feel what I feel when I am behind the wheel. No, I'm not referring to the irritation of people driving like crazy on the highway. I'm referring to the taste of freedom from public transportation and rides that a person with disabilities depend on 100%. After she got out of work I notice that there was an empty parking space since we did not had anything to do so, I told her to get behind the wheel. It took us a while to try and figure how to sit her in the right position to reach the steering wheel. Although she did several mistakes like getting on the sidewalk, she did fine. I think a couple of more tries and she will be a pro.   
So far, the van has been very useful I go to school, dates, work like any other person, it is like I have been set free into the world of independence. I love my van I treated like a part of me now i depend on it a lot and I know it would be there as long as i give it maintenance. 
7/16/2018
I put up my relationship with Liz this past year to work on my relationship with God, A year ago I bump in to and old friend and he invited me to a bible study after that its been a long journey after that. Thank God Liz decided to work on her relationship with God as well and now almost a year me and Liz are back together.
Now ever time I tell her that I love here she always says that she loves me more. It is almost going to be a year for my spiritual birthday, although I feel that I still have much to learn.